Ripples and Reflections...

Livesay [Haiti] Weblog: They are Haiti

2010-12-29T20:56:00.000-06:00

Just have to share this recent post by Tara Livesay...

Livesay [Haiti] Weblog: They are Haiti

One of the many things I am looking forward to in Haiti, is getting to know it's women, love the snapshot that she shares!

Franklin Graham–Thanksgiving and Haiti

2010-12-04T19:57:00.000-06:00

Franklin Graham–Thanksgiving and Haiti

Say Yes to.....?

2010-10-31T23:19:00.005-05:00

Where do you draw the line when God asks something of you?
What would you say yes to?
To what would you give Him the answer:
"Are you crazy? Absolutely NOT happenin'!"

I was thinking about my own answers to those questions today & probably will be for some time.

This weekend I saw the facebook post of an old college friend (thanks, Sheila!). Now I'm on Day 2 of a new devotional series by Kay Warren (Saddleback Church).

It seemed like a good fit since:

1) The lessons are 5 minute video devotions.

2) She calls it a 30-day "ADVENTURE", &

3) It's about learning to say YES to God.

Why after saying "yes" to MOVING to HAITI...would I still need to work on that???

In my personal experience, deciding to obey & actually moving forward & doing it are sometimes two very different things. Have you ever asked one of your amazing children to do something for you? You know something they know they need to do for you, but just isn't all that enticing?

Has it ever played out like this in your home?

"Could you....., for me, please?"
"Sure, Mom"
"Great thanks, love"
"Oh and could you make sure that you take care of .... while you're at it too?"
"Yep, no problem, I got it."
"Well, don't forget, it's really, really important...."
"Nope, I won't."
"Great, thank you so much!"

Some time later...you check back in w/ amazing kid, only to find out that the good intentions of obeying you that were "verbalized", have not actually "materialized"?

Yes, well, that is a "nice" version of me obeying God most days.

So, go to Haiti? Wow, that IS a tough one!
He's been at work for YEARS preparing me for that...to not only be willing, but wholeheartedly agree to answer His call.

But what I've agreed to is still MY version of going to Haiti -- the scenario that I can picture in my head. In all reality it has probably been "edited" to my own tastes just a bit. It is possible, that His ideas may be a little different than mine & that the process of getting there, as well as life in Haiti, may have a few surprises.

In that light - YES - I am going to participate in Kay's loving "boot camp", just to make sure that I am ready to respond positively on a daily basis & (hopefully) even when those unexpected events come.

Since going back to work the past couple of years, I haven't been able to participate in any women's Bible studies. This one is finally simple enough to manage, but I'd love to have some company!! If you'd like to join me on this particular adventure, you can sign up to receive short daily video devotions here (www.kaywarren.com).

Let me know what "saying yes to God" looks like for you...

Anyone who has time for some online fellowship, please message me on facebook & let's set up time to "chat"!

just say...YES!
Rebecca

ps: IPhone users - there is even an app for you!

The journey to Haiti officially begins...

2010-09-07T02:14:00.014-05:00

Words can hardly describe my thoughts lately about all that God has done to get us to this place of "reckless abandon" to His work full time in orphan care! Though our path to Haiti specifically has just begun, He has been faithfully guiding us through some treacherous territory the past few years, in order to get to that starting point.

My plans are to keep up, as well as I can, my personal journey on this blog from now on, while taking on the responsibility for updating the family one at the same time! Right now we are getting that one up & going this week, so watch for the "launch" of that one very soon! We'll see how it goes to do both for a little while...?

I covet your prayers for energy & efficiency (sounds like a household appliance! lol) while we navigate the new waters of fundraising. I will continue to support the family until we are fully funded with my work for UHC. Ted will be taking over responsibilities for the guest house this fall. There are already 6 teams scheduled to be hosted there before the end of the year. Each of them is traveling down to provide much needed encouragement & support for the Haitian churches that are caring for orphans. We are hoping to move by mid-March in order to manage things in person, which will be much easier!

Pray also that I will sleep better. The beauty of being totally pain-free since recovering from my hysterectomy 3 months ago has only been marred by the fact that "insomnia" seems to be one of the classic symptoms of menopause!? Just when I thought I would be catching up on years of interrupted sleep...oh dear! I'm going to need it during this extended time of transition...so pray hard!!

Watch for more to come on our new blog roll out...both provide a place to subscribe if you'd like each post to come to your email for convenience.

Here's a preview of the title we voted on & developed...

It's based on our family's motto & one of our favorite children's books! Be blessed...& be a blessing...to someone in need today! R

Home from Haiti...wrap up & some photos

2010-08-03T18:27:00.006-05:00

I've shared some intial impressions while we were in Haiti, but thought I'd give more of an overview of the work being done there, what was accomplished on this particular trip and where we go from here...

T & I arrived on Saturday afternoon (7/24) w/ Scott Vair, VP of projects for World Orphans. We did some basic preparation @ the guesthouse, for the full team to arrive the next day.

In Haiti the time is the same as it is here in TX, CDT. However it is east of the US, so the sun comes up @ 4:30 am!! In order to beat the heat, church services begin @ 6 am. We were invited to a beautiful church service, by the Haitian OVC director, Ron, & were the only fair-skinned worshippers present. The service was in Kreyol, with a rare sentence or two of English thrown in (I assume for us).

Sunday afternoon, we did a little shopping for the guesthouse, and made airport trips to pick up the other WO staff members, & Phyllis Kilborn, an expert on childhood emotional & crisis trauma, and the rest of her team.

The main objective for the week was to hold a 2-day training session for up to 70 Haitian pastors & church workers that are caring for the children in their OVC program. Culturally, the Haitians "press on" & don't deal with their experiences.

But the pastors repeatedly expressed their thanks in being given knowledge & "tools" to help the children cope with what they have experienced, as they see it coming out in many unhealthy ways. Some admitted that they were glad for the information, and planned to apply it to their own family's trauma & grief.

The second day concluded with the entire group writing down something they would like to leave with God & put in their past in order to heal.

They placed it in a balloon, & released it over the city...

In the afternoons, on the back benches of our sessions, there always seemed to develop an entourage...of kiddos.

"Stevenson" drawing on my notepad, became quite an attraction, kids appeared from nowhere wanting a turn. He also became quite the little photographer:

( Me w/ Scott, Kate, & Erin - the WO crew!)

Once the conference was over, we put on our hiking shoes.

Wednesday we spent the entire day traveling from home to home to visit with families of children that various churches have identified as the most "vulnerable" & enrolled in the OVC program. All of the children are at least single orphans, some double (no living parent) and are being cared for by extended family who love them, but have no means to provide. Typically these children would be out on the street, or dropped off at an orphanage due to sheer poverty.

World Orphans' model realizes that it

is best for any child to stay with someone who loves them...

especially in times where they have already suffered so much loss & insecurity.

So, they have organized a framework of partners in order to provide these children with 1 good meal a day, schooling at the participating local church, appropriate medical care, and trauma counseling. Most importantly, this is all provided by their local church, whether they attend there or not. This ensures that the program will be ongoing, culturally appropriate and supports the Haitians in caring for their own. Each of the participating churches does have an American partner church to lift them up in prayer, provide finances to administer for the orphan care expenses, & to visit in teams for further encouragement and hands on support.

As we are talking about the most vulnerable, you can imagine that most of the homes we visited were in the tent camps. It was over 100 degrees out, there was no shade other than what tarps provided. The tents have little ventilation, and by mid-day were well over 120F inside. We asked a mom how they live in the heat & she replied "we stay outside, walking around most of the day", they just go there to sleep @ night. Some had a makeshift bed inside that typically wouldn't hold the # of people that were living there.

In the photo above this is the grandmother of two little girls in the OVC program, the younger, Lorena, I carried out to her home. She & her grandchildren have no bed. All 5 of the makeshift tent inhabitants sleep on a piece of cardboard with a sheet over it on the ground. The night before it had rained, the ground was damp, I took note of gaping holes in the tarp "roof" of their home. However, this was the stop where we pulled up, & when Lorena's older sister saw her grandma from the bus window, she bubbled up & began calling out with delight to see her!! Both of her daughters were killed in the earthquake, she takes care of their children, as now they have only each other.

Holding little "Lorena" on my lap, as we visit her home.

So, you can see how important this work is...

It is often much easier to just set up a big home & start filling it w/ children, to feed & clothe & protect, but that's not always what is best for them, certainly not permanently.

Thursday our stay came to an end, we flew home with our heads & hearts spinning about the work being done. How might we step in & fill the gap with running the guest house for teams coming to support their partners, freeing up Ron for his main responsibilities, and walking alongside the churches & families as they endeavor to meet the needs of these precious little ones?

Next step?? Nothing we saw or heard in Haiti told us that it was "undo-able". Difficult? Absolutely...but worth stepping out of our "comfort zone". In fact, our love and admiration for the Haitians has grown. It is clearly a time of greater need than ever in Haiti. From what we saw it will take years and a lot more support (in every form) than anyone can imagine, for them to find their country recovered & we pray, blossoming with faith & hope!

Life goes on in Haiti, despite the destruction...

Please continue to keep HAITI in your prayers! While you are at it, you may want to lift us up a little more too. We'll spend a few more weeks in prayer ourselves, discussing things further with World Orphans, sharing details with the kids as they start arriving home next week, & ultimately make the BIG decision!??

Day 3 in Haiti - I have NEVER ...

2010-07-27T22:41:00.001-05:00

...been so sweaty in my entire life!
...been kissed on the cheek by each & every one of a crowd of curious children.
...had a little girl climb boldly onto my lap during church in order to scrutinized my white skin right down to the freckles!
...met a little boy before that didn't know how old he was.
...seen the face of a 10 yr old Haitian girl light up with sheer delight at the opportunity to brush my hair into a ponytail.
...witnessed a cloud of balloons filled with paper notes being released on the wind over Port au Prince by local pastors & church leaders signifying the start of their own healing process in preparing to help the orphans deal with theirs.
...dreamed of praying with a vivacious young Haitian-American woman while she fully accepted Christ as Lord of her life, in the midst of a mighty work that He has begun in bringing her back to her homeland.
...shared ministry with such a humble, but tour-de-force woman, as Phyllis Killborn who has done mission work with children in over 50 countries in her lifetime.
...ever calculated the long-term affect of a widespread lack of childhood trauma counseling on a country devastated by natural disaster & severe poverty.
...seen such servanthood and gratitude in "brothers & sisters" for receiving the tools they need to deal with psychological trauma.
...felt so at a loss as to the magnitude of healing needed in a country, or as sure that God alone could provide it...

until I came to Haiti.

Adventures in Haiti - day 1

2010-07-25T22:56:00.000-05:00

at the close of our first full day here in Haiti...

Initial impressions:
-It's HOT...no surprise there
-New best friend - the fan in our room!
-Our neighbors sleep in a tent on the second story of the remains of their home. My window looks out on their bedroom & theirs on mine
-Woke to the smell of charcoal smoke & roosters crowing @ dawn (4am).
-Went to church @ 6 am (to beat the heat). Amazing service & a glimpse of the multicutural heaven we will live in one day.
-Intrigued with the fact that Haiti is east of the US, but still in central time zone.
-Grocery prices are higher than @ home, yet most people live on $2/day
-The Haitian's are beautiful and so joyful despite the circumstances.
-The "tent cities" are heart wrenching, collapsed homes at every turn...no words to describe.
-Spoken Kreyol, it's musical, we're both enjoying it. The Haitians however, are greatly entertained by OUR attempts!

We didn't get a chance to respond to all of the notes of encouragement & support many of you sent us off with last week. What a blessing we have in the love & prayers of family & friends...

off to bed - long day tomorrow - children's trauma counseling training with the OVC church leaders. Outdoor church. Forcast 101.

Unable to post photos yet...more to come.

Yikes - We're going to Haiti!?

2010-07-12T01:32:00.011-05:00

Hospitality happens to be one of our spiritual gifts. Yep, each & every one of our Barlow crew has it running deep in their souls. It is one of our favorite "common bonds", bridging age, gender & bloodline in our woven family tree, and providing some of our most cherished memories.

While hospitality is one of my personal gifts, prophecy is not. So it surprised me when the two came hand in hand in writing this post. I was updating my blogsite earlier today which required editing a couple of old posts to adjust the text for a new format. One of them happened to be from May 21st. As I read through the first paragraph of the old one and considered the fresh topic at hand, a chuckle rose...in sharing that day, the news of my pending surgery and the risk of finding cancer, this is what I wrote:

"I wish I could announce that we're beginning a new adoption journey, or heading off to do orphan work in Haiti, but that's not what God has in mind this week."

...this week?? This WEEK? LOL God's timing and sense of humor just cracks me up!

THIS week, T & I are trembling as we announce that not only are we in the process of renewing our homestudy for the possibility of adoption, we are indeed leaving for Haiti in less than two weeks!!!

If you are new to this blog site, then it may be that particular announcement that has led you here. As some of you may know already, this trip to Haiti is actually part of discerning a larger call that God has on our family. It began as early as the process for our first adoptions over 12 years ago, was refined through years of "bonding & attachment", renewed each time we encountered children without forever homes, and made clear this past year as we took on an orphan care leadership role.

Bill Hybels came and ministered to us this weekend at church, and I'm pretty sure that it was meant just for us! He spoke of the "Power of a Whisper", the whisper of God, of course. Well, in our case God is pretty "with the times", because His whisper actually came to us in the form of a Facebook post! On June 3rd, World Orphans posted a postion seeking managers for their new "guest house" in Haiti. It is part of the OVC (Orphaned & Vulnerable Children) initiative developed by HORT (Haiti Orphan Relief Team). It is a program to address the substantial increase of orphans and children at risk since the earthquake in January.

Though God had been directing us to open ourselves to more full time ministry lately, we were blown away as the five of us here at home responded in unison, to the post - "wow, that's totally for us!" A whisper? More like a "shout"!! So, while the kids are away on their summer mission trips T & I have been pouring ourselves out before God and seeking more deeply whether that is where He leads us.

Until we have a more "official" family website, I will continue to post the latest on our "Journey to Haiti" here.

Knowing it is nothing we could ever do on our own, we cherish your prayers and support. If this is one step toward a longer term ministry there, we will need our family, our friends & others with a heart for God's children, to partner with us in seeing it through.

May you be deeply blessed-
Rebecca, for us all

The Wait....

2010-06-26T01:35:00.004-05:00

I recently posted the comment below on LifeSong's blog site. (Yes, in order to try to win a "free t-shirt"!!)

Writing it though, was a great reminder of God's faithfulness in all of those "times". You know...the ones when you just want to move or wiggle or run, or just DO SOMETHING to make things change?!! He sees us in our "endless midst", watches our silly shenaningans and then snickers, knowing what's in store. He's going to work it all out (for our best) in the end.

Waiting from our limited perspective can be "painful" at times. The blog I commented on challenged us to "...share a brief experience of how God worked in the waiting". It may sound like a simple little story. But it was one of the most excruciating times that I've been through in life. Knowing there will likely be more in the future, I was glad to be reminded of His hand in finally bringing it to an "end". One that I can see and move on from with deeper faith. Most importantly like many periods of uncertainty or "in-between" I see how He made something better out of me as well!

Oh the waiting...
Our adoptions (4 from Russia) began over 12 years ago. They were amazing -- God opened doors, provided funding in His glorious way, and even increased our income so that I could stay at home & care for our new girls. The wait was blessed, because He showed His clear intentions & provision for our family, but looking back that wasn't really the waiting that was so hard.

The time that was really difficult to "wait" through was the 10 years following the adoption of our youngest - twins! You see they came from "hard places". They were preemies and then lived in an orphanage, no one rocked them when they were scared or cried. People seemed untrustworthy and frightening. They only knew how to watch out for themselves. It was understandable, but made for a really difficult life in our family that wanted to be loving & "close".

So there were years of holding & tantrums, therapy, new parenting styles, prayer, crying, begging, and even probably some bargaining with God! He had his own time though. Finally we laid ourselves aside completely & just gave HIm time to do His work in them. That is when the real healing began! We watched and WAITED & waited & waited....

Our baby girls are 16 now & WELL WORTH the the time it took for God to redeem them from their past. They are sweet & beautiful creatures that are learning to know & serve God. Now it's time for "round two" and this time they will join the rest of the us as we begin our new adoption "wait"!!

This is in reference to adoption obviously, but there are so many things we wait on in life. What are some of yours and how have they changed you?

BON VOYAGE!!

2010-06-19T00:40:00.004-05:00

Tynan is counting down the days to his mission trip in France & would really be encouraged to know he has your prayers & support!! He's trying to raise the last bit & gets really excited just to know someone has even given just $5 to support his work there.

Go to his chip in page for an easy way to give, or to www.wol.org/giving to give online directly. Use his name & the following code: 0L0777

"Side Trip" notes.

2010-06-06T10:29:00.005-05:00

Not that I wouldn't have been thankful in all things that are the will of God, but I am particularly happy & thankful to say that my surgery went well. The MD found NO CANCER!! and I seem to be slowly on the mend. I say slow, it hasn't been two weeks yet, and I'm off all pain meds, but just not quite back to feeling myself .

The computer has been my bedside friend this past week, since my mind has been way more active than my body! So that has been a help. T & I have been able to spend some good time working on orphan care details and planning while I've been lounging around. Our social worker called this past week as well, and we are going to start the homestudy update process...just to be ready wherever God leads next with adoption. However, to top it all off, from my recovery bed we have begun applying for a new overseas opportunity in full time ministry that has come up!

Can you say "New Frontiers"??? I had no idea one little "side trip" would be preparing me for so much more, but it may very well be that God expedited my need for surgery in order to be ready for something else He has in mind.

Please pray with us for His guidance and continued healing.

Also keep our kiddos in mind & in your prayers...
Tania Grace is still working hard to complete her college degree
Ana is living in Germany for the next year
Tynan is trying to finish raising/earning support for a 6 wk mission trip to France
Emma & Olivia are leaving Weds to work at Word of Life for the summer in upstate NY

Blessings as you all begin the busy summer season!! I pray you'll each find a time of rest as well.

Side Journey or New Frontier?

2010-05-21T06:10:00.017-05:00

In the midst of a whole lot going on in the Barlow household, a new adventure has claimed the limelight this past couple of weeks. I wish I could announce that we're beginning a new adoption journey, or heading off to do orphan work in Haiti, but that's not what God has in mind this week.

Instead, a long time issue with endometriosis has recently highlighted a more acute situation. Two weeks ago I had flank pain. The MD thought maybe a small kidney stone? Since abdominal pain is a part of my life so many days of the year already, I thought it might be related to that. A couple of ultrasounds and a little over a week later I found myself sitting in a surgeon's office discussing the inevitable.

The kidney is fine, but the rest is not. It's clear, it's time to end the condition. I'm a little "over-the-moon" at the prospect of an end to chronic pain, but the "rub" here is going to take a little more faith than we thought. I'm never a very big fan of surgery. My system doesn't like many of the drugs. It always takes faith & usually a whole lot of grace (on the medical team's part) to get me through! This venture, I'm afraid, requires the dauntless variety though. The faith that says "anything goes" and relishes it!

See, the ultrasound showed more than endometriosis this time. There is actually a gnarly-looking cyst that is covering my ovary, not an issue I've had before, and alot of other "gunk" going on. There is a risk of malignancy, and it's not the good kind.

So what to do? I feel like Sharon Hincke's ill-prepared character in the Restorer series, a "mom" transported to an unknown land and time, disoriented but alert, trembling, curious, with no idea what lies ahead or why I'm here. Yikes, Adventure!!

Tuesday's surgery will reveal a little more the course we're on. Quick side trip? or a whole new "galaxy"? I'm beholden to a Father that transcends them all and shares every journey with me. But let's face it - I'm a nurse, a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend...& a really terrible patient, so I'm a little bit scared!

A new (and by grace, improved!) ME.

2010-05-17T06:51:00.008-05:00

It has been so long since I "wrote" anything of much importance to me that I found it interesting to sit down in an attempt to resurrect this dusty old blog. Reading through old posts, I saw myself from a distant place, at another angle, and in a filtered light. Familiar? Absolutely! But OH, so different in countless ways.

It would have been nice to be able to chronicle the deep journey that I, no, that WE have been on. However, despite the fact that I am tapping in patient documentation that rivals my old writing goals of 500-1000 words for my "day job", viewing the transformation from what was printed here has been worth the leave.

It's refreshing sometimes to see yourself change, grow, truly become the heroine in your own "life" story - yes that character wth interesting potential, but OH so far to go..... It strikes me as awesome that God is the writer of our lives.... of MY life! Ok, so that means that He get's to choose the tension and the obstacles to throw in my way. But it's all in order to best develop my ability to glorify Him in the story - that is so WAY much better than any book!!

I'm not sure what this blog will contain from here on out, but I pray it does glorify Him in everyway as the Master Character Craftsman and Writer of Life Stories that He is.

So, that pondering aside...what quite a few have been asking lately is "What are the Barlow's up too??" Well, that's a good question, it might be easier to answer what we aren't up to lately.
Ted is still not employed after 2.5 years. Rebecca is not writing, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping or chauffering kids as her daily adventure. Tania Grace is not sure what her future holds. Ana is no longer attending college. Tynan is NOT planning to be a homebody all of his life. The twins have stopped wreaking havoc, rarely argue and no longer hate school.

Why? Because that is where God has faithfully brought each of us over the past few years.

In fact, Ted has no plans for a career back in IT security! He's now a full-time entreprenuer - working through the start up process to roll out the first product for FiveTwo Ventures, our new company. I'm working full time in nursing, but from my home office as a maternity RN-case manager. We are both investing almost every minute of our spare time in our new role as orphan care leaders at church and orphan care advocates in general. We're also currently praying for God's guidance on future family additions. ????

As for the kids - Tania Grace is working hard, plugging away at classes & taking the time of separation from her special guy right now, as an opportunity to figure out exactly what she should pursue this next year of school. Ana graduated from university 2 days ago (our first!) and is leaving this week to live & work in Germany for a year. Tynan has plans to spend the summer working in France at a christian camp with my cousins, then will "fly the nest" this fall when he starts college life at LeTourneau University. Emma and Olivia are clearly growing into their separate identities at last, though both chose to return to New York for the summer to work at the Word of Life Inn and camps where our other cousins live! They will continue home schooling in the fall.

With so many different roles & directions, God has amazingly brought us together & laid the same ministry passions on each of our hearts at this time - caring for orphans and vulnerable children. I'm sure you can't imagine why that might seem like a surpise to anyone, since we do have 4 children that are internationally adopted. It has certainly risen to the surface in a steady manner the past few years, but we have been taken aback by how clearly His fresh call has fit into so much of the change and the trials in our lives recently. The root might have begun with wanting to grow our family initially, but at this stage God has turned our heads 180 degrees to see what is at the center of His heart, and we are radically different having had that view.

To quote a new acquaintance this past year...we are "recklessly abandoned & gloriously ruined"!

My goal is to try to get back to journaling the adventures of life - one because it helps me make sense of them sometimes as I write, but also to encourage others in need of freedom and hope to stand firm in the midst of precarious journeys too.

Dreaming while I can't sleep

2009-02-28T00:53:00.017-06:00

Life seems like an odd dream lately. Not bad, not good, just very strange and interesting. Could be bad. Maybe even scary. Or, maybe it will turn good. Perhaps GLORIOUS even....! Might I wake up now and have everything back the way I remember? Shall I cover my head and snooze a little longer to watch what happens next? Is this really a dream?? Or not?

Where would you go if you could choose whatever you wanted to?

I'm not sure I could say right now. My role as a homebody troll is quite advanced since work came home and moved into the little corner room upstairs. I like my "girl cave", too bad it's for WORK, though and not writing!

Now that I think about it... Somewhere green would be nice. Sunny. Shady. Secluded. Perfectly temperate, but with the whisper of a breeze. NOT tropical, OR humid... Water somewhere nearby. A stream! Sauntering meadows. Trees dappling light where I sprawl.

I wonder what we'll dream of in heaven, when there's already so much to stoke our imaginations here on earth? Will we dream there? Does God? Didn't He dream buttercups up just for us? After all, He sprinkled fields of stars out, knowing we'd need reassurance while drifting off to sleep.

All that just for us...

Look up.

There they are.

'Night

Once upon a time...

2008-10-19T11:36:00.009-05:00

I'm on a mission this weekend to reconnect with my long neglected internet "friends" and a few writing projects.

WRITING? what's writing???

Yes it has seemed like a distant memory or foggy dream, lately. Did I really used to write, or did I just "dream" about writing and it seemed like I did? Well, you can't imagine how thankful I am to have a small token of proof lying here in cyberspace to remind me that I haven't lost my mind (yet). That once upon a time... in a land far away... writing really WAS the order of the day! Ok, well that's corny, but hey, I'm a little rusty and drifting here.

Oh, and then there was reading, that always fought in line.

READING? what's reading??? I've been dawdling through the stack on my bedside table, for some time now, no matter how loud they seem to call.

In fact, the only call I've been able to answer lately might be termed the CALL of the WILD. The WILDERNESS that is. OK, so I'm sounding sappy again, but you know those places in life that take you far away from everything you recognize as familiar? Well, that's where I've been. It's isolated and lonely, beautiful, serene, rugged, exhausting, ruthless, and constantly lashing at my innermost core.

I live in the country, near the edge of "wild" areas of land. They're wonderful to admire from a civilized distance. Yet tucked safe inside my warm and cozy, every-amenity home, I've learned plenty about life in the wilderness. It can burst right in at times and simply carry you away... the loss of a job, a suffering child, volatile relationships, death, irrevocable change, illness, fear, frailty, fatigue, disappointment, mere oversight, or natural disaster.

Though I'm currently living in the "outback" of prolonged circumstances that still threaten the destruction of a beloved way of life, others I hold dear are suffering much worse conditions. And yet they inspire me. They breathe gently on the embers that glow and keep me warm. Shaken out of a stupor, I kneel to do the same. Chill gone, I venture into the night and replenish the store of kindling. The fire grows. The wilderness shrinks. Flames crackle and dance, reaching up toward the stars. Familiarity surrounds me in the dark, and a new and crazy way of life becomes yet another adventure.

Enough pent up symbolism? Alright, well you get the idea of where I've been lately...little reading... less writing... fairly active imagination... challenging, yet enriching time in life.

Anyhow, here I am. Just warming up the keyboard. Happy to put a few words on the screen. Beginning, again...

BOOK REVIEW: “Generation NeXt Marriage”

2008-03-25T22:18:00.009-05:00

By Tricia Goyer

I was thrilled when I heard the guidelines for this Blog Tour from Trish.
“…we’d like you to take one chapter of the book and share how that chapter, or the principles in the chapter, have helped you in your marriage.”

Cool, I thought. T and I have been studying some new parenting books lately, but it’s been awhile since we’ve looked at one on marriage. I’m a definite Gen X-er, and he is on the cusp, so it should relate to us. What a great way for us to draw closer while I prepare for the blog!

RIGHT…
...Well, since that original thought: I began a new full-time job, one of our older daughters moved home, T took over my gourmet cooking class this semester, we're homeschooling both twins, and he's trying to get a new business started!

At a time when we probably need it the most, there just hasn’t been time in our schedule for basic communication let alone something that will draw us “closer” as a couple. The more I thought about it and poured through Trish’s book, I laughed and thought YEAH, well that’s what she’s talking about here isn’t it?!!

SO which chapter really hit home for me???

Chapter 8: “Sweet Child o’ Mine

Why? Because if there’s one thing my husband and I ALWAYS agree on it’s loving, nurturing and raising our kids to be healthy, happy, productive, faith-filled young people.

Well then why aren’t you blogging on “Generation Next Parenting” instead you say? It’s simple. Marriage and Parenting aren’t separate issues as our friend Tricia points out here!

“Children Redefine ‘Marriage Partnership’” she opens the chapter with. In discussing marriage as a purposeful relationship, she quotes Gary Chapman in the Four Seasons of Marriage “All research indicates that an intimate marriage provides the safest and most productive climate for raising children.”

Though I DO see our parenting partnership lately as one of the biggest strengths in our marriage, one of the closing points Trish makes went to my core.

“Additionally the way John and I interact serves as our children’s model for marriage. In fact, the type of marriage I have with John is most likely the kind my kids will have too. That’s huge.”

UM yeaah, that’s HUGE!

It reminded me once more that even in the midst of understandable hard times; when it’s difficult to find the time and way to connect, our marriage STILL has to take precedence. During these times, we are modeling for our kids how to handle their own future marriages under similar circumstances.

As a parent it’s pretty easy to analyze and even critique our own children’s behavior, after all that’s part of our job! Well picturing my child as a future marriage partner, handling particular situations the way we typically do, was inspiration. Not only to try to do better, but my need to aim daily for the BEST relationship possible, no matter what the situation may be.

Now this doesn’t mean we’ll ever become the “perfect” husband/wife, during our lifetime. Rather that in each and EVERY season, we must dedicate precious time and energy toward a future of continuous improvement.

One of my favorite things in this chapter is that Trish shares her TOP 12 list of the best things a married couple can do together for their kids.
I focused in on just a few to share:

“5. Have daily ‘couch time’ where your kids see the two of you talking about your day. It will give them security to see their parents communicate. They will know all is well in their world.

7. Be loyal to one another and stand by each other, even when you don’t think the other person has handled the situation correctly. It’s better to work it out afterward, in private.

8. Let loose once in awhile. Life doesn’t always have to be serious.

9. Pray together as a family. AND...

11. Let the kids see you handle disagreements and resolutions respectfully."

To learn more about other bloggers’ favorite chapters in this book follow the tour here!

Trish Goyer is the award winning author of nine books, has written more than 250 published articles, and is a sought after speaker and presenter for women’s groups. She makes her home in northwest Montana with her husband and three children.

Click here for an opportunity to win a “dinner for 2” courtesy of Trish herself!

BEFORE AMERICAN IDOL...

2008-03-21T23:59:00.012-05:00

there was "Clumsy" Jason Castro, singing from the heart, at church.

Well, the news is all good so far!!

Jason's made it to the top 10, securing a position on the AI performance tour this year. Simon Cowell was quoted on Oprah this week as saying he expects him to be in the "top 4". Leonard Cohen has "Dreads" to thank for a revitalized career, Jeff Buckley's version of "Hallelujah" hit #1 on Itunes in memorium, and J's 1.5 minute version was the first AI contestant download to break the top 100...

I love this video though, because it's at the core of the "real" Jason. Behind all of the Hollywood glamour, the fan threads, the magazine articles and Ford commercials is a cool, humble, easy-going, goofy, God-honoring young man.

If you're so inclined, please keep up the prayers as he travels this wild pop-culture journey. Check out a new blog dedicated just to that, it's called:

prayforjasoncastro.blogspot.com

Tune in Tuesday nights on FOX (at 8/7c), to enjoy his next performance (award winning smile included)...then VOTE him back again!!!

Speaking of adoption issues...

2008-03-08T19:45:00.038-06:00

A couple of weeks ago T and I were asked at the last minute to help out with an adoption “hot topics” class at church for families that are considering adoption.

The topic of the week: "Bonding and Attachment” is one that has been intimately woven through our lives the past 10 years. In fact, truth be known, we are only speaking about it now, because of God’s faithfulness to us. I wish I could say it was the other way around, but we haven’t always been full of faith in our parenting. Thank goodness for his perfection in using “broken tools” to create priceless works of art from individual lives.

Attachment and Bonding are basic components of human life--

an art medium in which God is the Master Creator. He designed us as free beings and set us in motion as reflections of his own image. With "the fall” our relationships were broken and disconnected. Life became less than the “ideal plan”. Separated from our source of life, we became fearful, self-centered creatures, craving some sort of control over the situation.

Then he came along…offering unconditional love and “adoption”.

It wasn’t long after our first adoption that the connection between the relationship dynamics I had with my adoptive children and my own relationship with God was revealed. It just about knocked me off my feet!

Me?? Attachment disorder with God? But I "LOVE” God!

Do you trust him?

I try.

Do you give him control or make a mess of things on your own? Hmmm. Good point.

Typical attachment begins at birth and the process unfolds throughout a child’s first few years. This unique period where an infant learns to trust and rely and relate to a “primary caregiver” is integral. In order to be healthy, an infant must internalize that initial relationship at the core of their being.

The way a child learns to deal with everything else in life is based on that initial reassurance of love, security, safety, and well-being.

It can be broken though, just as ours was when sin entered in. According to Dr. Walter D. Buenning:

“…bonding is a two step process. First, the parents must give the child love. Secondly, the child must accept it. The problem arises in the second step or phase. Because of past loss, some children are unable to trust.... It is difficult for most parents and many clinicians to believe that this could happen with children and even infants. In adoptive homes, love is like a gift given to the child. The core problem is that the child does not, indeed cannot, accept the gift. In the end, the result is that the child looks and acts as if he has not been loved.”

Is this reminiscent at all, of your own Christian walk?? I know it has been of mine. There are varying degrees to everything, but our own adoption parenting reminds me again and again to fully accept God’s grace in my life. Accepting the love he has for me is the freedom and security I need to survive. Continuously placing him at the center of my being, allows me to reflect his image once more.

What a work of art our adoptions have been in his hands. Any obvious flaws, were our own unskilled additions to the canvas. Many, he has even graciously touched up.

Last week, at a particularly strained period in life, he brought us together with a request to serve others, only to remind us of his continual presence and goodness. As we shared our experiences and lessons, a sense of his faithfulness filled me.

Unaware of my own need for refreshment until that very moment, I marveled "Here he is, drawing us near, even as he sets us to doing his work!"

the Barlow Girl's Valentine's Day Adventure...

2008-02-24T21:28:00.010-06:00

I have to hand it to our twins for courageously journeying through another surgery on their feet last week! Each girl has a left foot abnormality, that many never notice, since it's hidden pretty well beneath the cover of their shoes.

They've had surgery before, but it's been quite awhile, so it was a new experience for them. This was also the first time they were able to go through surgery together!

Though they may have had second thoughts when it came to the day of their grand ordeal, they rolled into pre-op like pro's! Emma was the entertainment for the day in the OR, on her standard dose of Versed! She doesn't remember it, but gave me permission to impersonate her funny antics while waiting to begin, with most of her visitors afterward. Olivia's the lightweight we've found out with meds, so she just got very sleepy.

Afterward was not such a fun day for either, but things slowly got better and they were discharged after a couple of days.

Here are our teenaged "little grannies" ready to leave with walkers, wheelchairs and even a shower chair in tow!!:

What was their first wheelchair bound outing??

Dinner for their sister's 21st Birthday...,then Joining our friends Tuesday night at a big LOCAL event to support their favorite AI contestant: JASON CASTRO of course!!

And they were'nt disappointed! His television performance debut "Daydream"(click here to see it on YouTube)---got fantastic comments from the judges--ESPECIALLY Simon--amazing!! Way to go!!!!

Their message to you--"Pleeaase VOTE for Jason, so we can watch him some more!!!!! oh yeah, and say a prayer for him, he's got the flu this week, has to be well by tomorrow for taping, and TUNE IN on Tuesday night for his 70's week performance!! "

Another unfortunate event

2008-02-04T16:00:00.000-06:00

IN MEMORY OF...

Tolkein ("little bear") Barlow

April 2007-February 2008

"Lord, you have embraced a good friend and loving companion. While we mourn what we have lost, we do celebrate what we had...and in saying goodbye, we renew our pledge to love and care  for any creature you entrust to us for its time of life. 

Thank you, Lord, for the joy this loved one gave us and for making it  possible for us to have made this friend's life a good one."

At 4 months old this little guy was sickly and malnourished, weighing in at less than a pound.

No matter what we did, he didn't seem to gain weight.

Finally after months of tender care, he turned the corner!
From then on he grew, and grew, and grew, and grew, and grew...

These photos were taken in September, to celebrate how he was finally catching up with the others.

He ended up being the healthiest, friendliest, cuddliest, chubbiest teddy-bear of a cat, with a deliciously plush, silky fur coat replacing his old, thin, straggly one.

Tolkien seemed to greet each day with an attitude of confidence and joy in life. We'll miss him dearly! Having shared in the miracle of his life,we only wish it wasn't such a short one.

His loss has taught us how important it is to bring joy into each other's lives on a daily basis, the way he always did into ours!

Back to Work

2008-01-27T15:27:00.001-06:00

Ever feel like your world is turning a little bit upside down? Well ours is, and I’m starting to feel a little bit dizzy lately! And I don’t really “DO” those upside-down, spin-you-all-around rides at the amusement park anymore. (It’s one the few flaws in my otherwise adventurous nature.)

Anyhow, I’ve shared how things have been kind of out of sorts here the past several months. Well, the latest in our change of events is putting my equilibrium to the test.

When the beginning of this school year came into view, I was flourishing knee-deep in family life, writing, word counts, reading, studying my craft, and teaching some fun classes at the local co-op and private school. Since then, however…Emma was brought home for school, our tumultuous series of unfortunate events began, T and I surfed through the holidays applying for new jobs, Olivia began home schooling again too, and NOW apparently I’m the one going back to the 40-hour-a-week working world!!

A few jobs have finally come along--on God’s timing, of course--making sure we didn’t miss another sound lesson on trusting completely in Him! He’s been beside us through the struggles this far. So, I’m reminding myself daily that I won’t step out of the comforts of home and back into the great wide working world alone.

Who would have dreamed a short time ago that my darling husband would take over my Gourmet Cooking class, that we’d be “Team Homeschooling” the twins, starting a family business, considering a little cattle ranching on the side, and that I’d be breathlessly anticipating the offer of a full-time RN “office job”??

Yeah, well—me neither!!

I’ve been drawn to this soothing familiar scripture lately…

“There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven….

What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men.

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God.

I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1-14
...and, I'm bracing myself with that thought until the ride is either OVER and I can get off, or I miraculously acclimate to the centrifugal force!

It's NOT just another season…

2008-01-17T11:27:00.000-06:00

…of American Idol. It’s the 7th season of what has been named America’s #1 television show.

I honestly can’t attest to that because last night is the first time our family has ever watched an entire episode. Anyone who hangs around here knows that when it comes to Movies-- "ask the Barlows" we KNOW those--blockbuster, indie, foreign, you name it!; Sports (at least Ted's up on them)--we're cool; Music (between the lot of us)--it's covered; but TV shows??--I admit it-- with very few exceptions, we're pretty much total NERDS!!

Some of you who have watched it can imagine then, our initiation episode was quite an experience! WOW, what a curious menagerie of talent and painful experiences, we thought. NOT really #1 in our opinion, but we won’t judge it as harshly as Simon Cowell might. It’s obvious we’re a little “wet behind the ears” still, as my 15 year old son’s initial reaction was, “I don’t know if I can keep watching that show every week. I mean I KNOW they were REALLY, really, really, bad, but I felt just terrible for some of those auditioners!” (Hmmm, think that’s what the producers are trying to get at??)

You now ask, “WHYee??...then are the Barlow’s suddenly deciding to spend Tuesdays nights watching 'Idol' this season?” OR perhaps blurt this out instead, “Umm, I know you guys are adventurous, and all, but this is a new one for the record--are you getting THAT desperate from lack of travel this year, or excitement around the house?” nope! The answer is simple…we can’t help ourselves.

We are thrilled with excitement, and on our knees in prayer for some friends of ours, whose son is competing this year!!! Tania Grace our oldest who has spent a little time with him, says, "mom...he is such an amazing guy." Knowing him to be a very talented and godly young man at only 20 years of age, we are anxious to see what God does in and through him during this experience.

Saturday night he was leading worship...

Wednesday night on our tv screen, yellow ticket tight in hand!

So, IF you’re a FAN, and perhaps a little more seasoned in American Idol than we are, then please join us in praying and cheering for our one and only reason for suffering through, oops, I mean watching an entire season of American Idol this year!! (Yes, that’s right we plan on watching it right up until he wins!)

Adventure, fun and blessings Jason!!

“For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

-Ephesians 2:10

New Book Review: Chill Out, Josey! by Susan May Warren

2008-01-09T08:20:00.000-06:00

Since attending my first writer’s conference this past fall, I have had an enormous stack of books sitting by my bedside waiting to be read. The wealth of talent, challenge, encouragement and fun was put in to them by many of the “dear” authors that I met!

Overwhelming stack or not, I jumped at the opportunity to blog on this new book by Susan! I didn’t know anything about the story, but Susan is one of those endearing writers that I actually had a chance to learn from. Ok, so we only met briefly and chatted, while she signed my fresh copy of “Reclaiming Nick”, but I came to appreciate Susan and her talent by attending a couple of her writing skill seminars.

The seminars were rich and witty, and full of vivid detail. So, I was excited to see if her books would match. Chill Out, Josey--does just that!!

Josey Anderson is a newly wed, happily intent on becoming the Proverbs 31 woman in this new role. Ideals set in place, Josey is sure she is on her way to “surpassing” as a wife. At least until the first wrinkle sets in—her husband accepts a job in Moscow, Russia. After all, that’s where she was working as a missionary when he up and followed her to proclaim his love! Josey isn’t so sure about going back. She’s ready to settle in to her dream house, with 2 kids and white picket fence. Didn’t her biblical mentor have all that?

Unexpected events, well kept secrets, and seductive co-workers keep Josey on her feet once they arrive. As her hopes and dreams seem to fly right back home to Minnesota with out her, panic begins to set in. “What’s the perfect wife to do?”

I invite you to enjoy this entertaining and delightful story. It made me giggle, as I recalled being intimidated myself, as a new bride, by the perfect Proverbs 31 woman! Yes, I finally got over that!! So, it was fun watching Josey mature into the woman God created her to be here, too! Nope, not her perfect plan…because His is even better. There’s a message here for all of us.

Susan is adept at teaching and encouraging you in a Christ honoring life, while you simply curl up for a fun read.

Having spent over 6 weeks in Russia for our various adoptions, I can attest to the description and humor that she brings on the life of an American in Russia.

Susan talks about her experience behind writing the series, “I laugh that finally, I got to write about all the fallacies, all the frustrations, and all the foolishness of being a freshman missionary. Mostly, I got to write about the one thing that God taught me – that He’d been at work in my life to bring me to this place, and the places beyond, all my life. And that I didn’t have to be perfect. I just had to surrender and trust.”

Click here, to read more about Susan May Warren, and use THIS link or the one in my reading list to order Chill Out, Josey now!

Is it REALLY a NEW year?

2008-01-05T23:39:00.000-06:00

2008. How did that happen so fast?

I guess in the same way that my oldest is about to turn (gulp) 21?

With a year flying by so fast, I’m not sure why I can’t manage to keep a New Year Resolution for a full year. But at some blink of a moment in time, it finally hit me that was true! Being the truly "reformed-from-my-perfectionist-tendencies" woman that I am, I immediately resolved to give them up the next year! I haven't made one since. In my book they're right up there with the Proverbs 31 woman. One of those things I'm just not ever going to achieve--this side of heaven!!

We have, however, been trying to use the first of each year to sketch out some plans. As a family we address the latest issues and upcoming events or ideas. 2007 has held quite a few “surprises” for us (more like our own little “series of unfortunate events”). SO, either we didn’t plan thoroughly for September on, last January, or we’re in need of a few “lessons”, and our Father decided that this was just the right time in life. ??

Our “planning” is minimal for 2008. We decided instead to focus our family goals on strengthening communication, relationships, unity, and each trying to seek the best for the others as a whole. We figure no matter what comes along in 2008 those are the things to carry us through in the long run!

All that said, our “luck” (or “lessons”) don’t seem to have come to an end (or is that a new beginning??) with the annual midnight toast.

We must be acclimating to this new way of life a bit, because now T & I just look at each other and shrug when something goes completely and unexpectedly wrong, or when an added expense or bill pops up from nowhere.

“Hmmm…wonder how that’s going to work out?”
“Not really sure.”
“Guess we should pray about it, huh?”
“Probably..., add it to the list!”

Others are isolated events, like the one on New Year’s Day that reassured us our lessons weren’t over.

It was freezing cold out that evening, so I threw our little dogs in the car for a ride around the corner to feed the horses. Relatives were over watching the game, but we planned to be back in a few minutes. I tossed a couple of flakes of hay over the fence while listening to Winston, who RARELY barks, yap like a fool at the “strange creatures” in the paddock. A split second later I realized that he was in the front seat, and simultaneously heard the a strangely familiar sound--sort of a mechanical “thunk”! "Oh no, is that what I think it is?" Uh, yeah, it was him-- stepping on the automatic car lock. OF COURSE the keys were hanging in the car ignition!!! Where else would they be?? The dogs were warm in the car for the next 45 minutes while my not too happy (but still darling) husband worked in the cold, to get the door open. The good news is we didn’t end up with a “double-time” bill for calling out a locksmith. T sprang the locks just as help arrived. We did have a good laugh afterward--once we warmed up!

Tonight’s "surprise" event was a little more sober. As we arrived to feed again, we found my filly was injured. Thankfully, she’ll make it, but the bill—yep, another one of those sweet surprises!

So you see, NEW seems to be relative for us so far this YEAR!

One thing refreshingly remains the same. God is sovereign, He loves us just as much as he did in 2007, and we are grateful daily for His divine provision and protection.

Here’s to 2008! Cherish the ups AND the downs, ‘cause I’m sure that’s what it holds!

It IS a Wonderful Life

2007-12-21T15:04:00.000-06:00

Especially now that the “Grand Production” is over! Finally it’s holiday break, and I have time to go back and share our past month’s activities. Well at least one of the highlights in this case:

Two of our kiddos recently performed in a Reader’s Theatre Production of “It’s a Wonderful Life” for their school. I’m the teacher’s assistant for the class too, and thus co-director, so it’s been a pretty busy time in our household with running lines, evening rehearsals, gathering props, costuming and all.

Our quickly maturing teenaged son was chosen early on, for the lead role this year. A fact which cranked up both the excitement and the stress level in preparation! Leading up to the performance we heard everything from “ I’m fine. It’ll be fine...no, really! I’m not nervous at all…” to “I told you I never even wanted the lead in the first place…!” Moments before performance it was, “I think I’d like to do this again next year, but I’d rather have the second down from the lead role.” (sounded pretty relaxed to me, just before going on…)

We gathered backstage for a quick prayer over the performance. Tynan asked me to pray over him again alone. The curtain rose. He absolutely "nailed" his part! Our daughter Emma, hit the mark on her lines, too. The whole cast made us proud!!! The audience laughed and applauded. The performers bowed… it was all done.

Each of the students seemed happy about their performances, making us feel very fulfilled as “directors”. The crowd was pleased and complimenting. BUT, the mom in me didn’t draw a huge sigh of relief, until the moment I heard my son come off stage and say “Hey, I think that went really well!”

It was one of those glorious moments of parenting…where for a brief moment everything seems to be right in the world for an instant. My kids felt a sense of success at something they had worked hard for. They experienced the presence of those who love them, and had the support of grandparents, siblings, neighbors and friends. They did a remarkable job!

No one remembered at that moment the difficulties of life. It was a reprieve, and a beautiful gateway into the blessings of the Christmas season. After all isn’t that what it’s all about? Forgetting our cares and focusing on what’s really important— the gift of life that Jesus gave us when he scrunched up his lower lip, grimaced at the cold air, and etched out his first cry in this dark world.

“ You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”

–Matthew 5:14-16

May God Shine In Your Holiday Season!!

Still Giving Thanks...

2007-12-01T08:16:00.002-06:00

I'm back now--at last!--having just completed the first month of one of the MOST stringent diets a doctor has EVER put me on, a "cleansing" program, and double antibiotic therapy for H. Pylori, (the bacteria that causes stomach ulcers).

So, how was my Thanksgiving?? Difficult, but blessed! Despite being "under the weather", I gave thanks for so much...the family that gathered around our table, being out of bed finally two days in a row, the turkey and veggies that I got to eat!

Highlights of the day were:

-Butternut squash (the BEST thing I'd tasted in weeks!!)

-Decorating and setting the table, in a room humming with Chris's joyful bagpipe tunes (I thought I'd been transported to the "harvest festival" setting from a period movie!)

Our stone fireplace was aglow. Family gathered to play games. The girls went out to"ride", and were surprised by the first few flakes of an early snow! Cousins who traveled from Colorado treated us in the evening, to an intimate "mini concert" of vocals, mandolin, and, yes, those bagpipes!

Marking a year in our cozy country home...

God's faithful provision and protection during an avalanche of recent difficulties...

the many blessings that constantly surround us...

were thoughts that warmed our day

and filled my heart with gratitude.

We're back to school for a few weeks now. I appear to be on the mend. Cool weather is refreshing us at last. Sights and smells surround us with holiday cheer.

Joy and thankfulness resonate among us,

as we enter the Christmas season!

My (writing) Life Interrupted...

2007-11-10T07:57:00.000-06:00

For those who have been wondering why my blog has lain silent this past month...well, it was due to a period I needed for mourning.

On October 19th, I packed my "writing life" up in a crate and (literally) put it on a shelf. It was a very difficult thing to agree with God to do, just when things seemed to be really starting to roll along. He was merciful in giving me a sense of peace over it though too.

Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ,

if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit,

if any affection and mercy,

fulfill my joy by being like-minded,

having the same love,

being of one accord, of one mind.

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit,

but in lowliness of mind

let each esteem others better than himself.

Let each of you look out not only for his own interests,

but also for the interests of others.

(Phillipians 2:1-4)

Family life and relationships always have to be first, I remember hearing not too long ago at the conference. Well, there have been some sudden changes in ours, and the stress level was steadily growing to a point where something in the household had to give. Teaching several classes couldn't change, neither could my husband's increased workload. The only thing left after a thorough examination was writing.

So, NO, I haven't quit. I'm not looking at it like that right now. Rather, if I'm meant to pick up my story again then it will be according to God's timing and plan for it. This may just be for a few more months while things are difficult, or it might be a long while. I've had to trust Him with that and just lay it all at His feet for good.

He IS good, ALL of the time!

Tears shed, cheeks wiped, chin up, heart right.... it's finally time to let the word out.

As much as I miss my characters, tweaking plot lines, and counting words, this is the one place where I will continue to write whatever God lays on my heart.

All grief set aside, I and this blog must move on.... SO with more of a family, womanhood, parenting note, and with a few book reviews thrown in, undoubtedly, the adventure continues!! Well, as often as time at home allows, of course.

Please remember me in your prayers as I seek to glorify our Lord the best I can in whatever He brings day to day. If you'd like to share something, I'd love to pray for you too!

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

(Romans 12:12)

Behind the Scenes: Word Count

2007-10-09T21:25:00.000-05:00

It may not be too exciting, but the past nine days I've been plugging away at my realistic and self assigned word count schedule for "30 Days of Writing".

It has definitely been a help to have the accountability of other writers, during these early stages. Getting stuck and wanting to just "can" it and try to think of something the next day doesn't work, when you need to check in for your daily achievements!

In fact, if I DON'T check in then I get a pleasant little e-mail saying "How are you doing on your word count, I didn't hear from you yesterday?" It's so sweet and benign to hear from our leader, Lacy, but yet so SEARING for the writer's conscience! So we are all getting ourselves in shape pretty fast.

I'm actually writing less than I was last spring on a daily basis. Back then my quota was 500 words a day on anything, just to get in the habit of writing daily and consistently. That was good, but it's another form of new development to write a specific amount now, specifically on my book daily. That's a little harder, because let's face it some days I wake up not as "inspired" in where to go next with my story, as others.

So far my WIP (work- in-progress) word count for October is 2,620! That's not a lot since I will be writing upwards of 1-2,000 words a day by the end of the novel, but for now it's a VERY good start! Most of it was further developing my main characters and finalizing the cast of secondary characters to include. I also spent a day doing some fun research this week, but that will be for my next blog...

My non-writing challenge for YOU this week: Learn how to make Pasta from scratch!! (WE ARE in my cooking class tomorrow)

Unveiled and Exposed!

2007-10-02T12:11:00.000-05:00

NO, that is NOT the name of my book in progress...
rather, it is announcing a new recurring topic for my blog. Along with an ongoing candid look at the life and process of creating a "maiden" novel, I am finally announcing the title I've given this work in progress!!

The red curtain swings open, revealing....

"Passport to Paris"

Exposed.
Retired.
Replaced.
A talented British Intelligence Operative is left with
her past, the present, and a passport to Paris...
Texas that is!

Well, that's where I am right now, getting ready to schedule a trip to Paris, Texas!
There's not much to tell you about the writing stages I've gone through so far. Plenty of reading, endless studying, pages of writing, that haven't amounted to anything much yet.

After attending the conference last month, I narrowed down my next plan of action and took certain nuggets to heart...

---Author Susan Meissner shared in her workshop, "300 Pages in 30 Days", that the best thing to do in your prewriting stages, is to get all of the "obstacles" out of the way! Meaning have your research done on anything and everything imaginable beforehand, have a general "map" of where you want to go, and get your characters fully worked up-they are what drives the story and draws your readers in.

---I heard it more than once over the weekend, but it was the single piece of advice that was urged during a brief conversation with Jim Bell. "You just need to get it all out... write the whole thing down start to finish... you can deal with it from there."

---From Deb Raney I learned that it's ok to be afraid, and not to worry about "wanting to quit". "One page a day means you'll have a 365 page novel at the end of a year!"

My goals then?

Not to quit (yet)
Complete my prewriting (ie. obstacles gone) by the end of the year.
To write the whole thing down no matter how good or bad!
Finishing studying the stack of books on my desk (starting with Plot & Structure--what else do you advise, Jim?)

Anyhow, I'm sure it will be either painful or encouraging to watch, depending on your bent. If you're so inclined, please accept an invitation to view the inside workings of early novel writing, as I endeavor to expose the intimate details of my journey.

If you're a writer trying to get a fresh start on your word count hurry and join a group of like-minded individuals as we participate in Novel Inspirations "30 Days of Writing" with Lacy Williams. If you need sound tidbits of writers' advice sign up for Susan May Warren and Rachael Hauck's "Book Therapy" blog.

Cheers!

More about my "TRIP"!

2007-09-29T19:41:00.000-05:00

Oh it's so hard to come back to the "real" world of life issues and struggles.

After this week holding...my full schedule of classes, a very unanticipated bit of potentially-life-changing news, the long awaited arrival of relocating in-laws, and a scramble to finish off my workshop article for Afictionado, I am thankful to finally be sitting in quiet at my desk this evening and having a chance to revisit my conference experiences at last!

SO, floating back to only a week ago...

I was having a blast with new friends!

Starting out with...

Sherrie Ashcraft and Christina Berry

(read more about our shenanigans on their sites)

Ocieanna Fleiss and CB

Lindy Jacobs

Me with Sally Bradley

...Talking about adoption with Tiff Coulter (our girls' adoptions were in the same Siberian towns!), and Kelly Pelton (who also gave T and I the inside scoop on sightseeing in Memphis).

...Learning from and laughing with amazing authors, Sharon Hinck, Susan Meissner, Trish Perry and Deb Raney (her track was AWESOME!).

Sharon-happily signing the last of her books!

Susan is SOOOo sweet, she even gave me a copy of her latest book!!

I only hope her workshop "300 Pages in 30 Days" helps me to write as fast as her someday!

Deb's word's of wisdom were a salve to my new writer's heart!

...Being blessed with worship, fellowship and encouragement on all sides.

All I can say is "Thanks ACFW!!" Looking forward to next year... =0)

What a "TRIP"!!

2007-09-24T09:57:00.000-05:00

Everyone talks about "surviving" your first writer's conference. It's true, I didn't really know quite what to expect. But if you ask me today,

"Did you 'survive'?" I'd have to say,

"I didn't really. How about you?"

For those who have no idea what I'm talking about....just think of whatever YOU've plugged through the past few days! Did YOU survive??

survive

Pronunciation: s&r-'vIv
Function: verb

intransitive verb
1 : to remain alive or in existence : live on
2 : to continue to function or prosper

transitive verb
1 : to remain alive after the death of
2 : to continue to exist or live after
3 : to continue to function or prosper despite : WITHSTAND
- sur·vi·vor /-'vI-v&r/ noun

Well, according to Webster's Dictionary... I didn't (merely) "survive", I actually "thrived" through my first writer's conference!!! Wooohooo!

How about you?

(Side note to some: please don't fret, if you ARE in survival mode right now --I'm there in many, many areas of life too... still looking to God for the wisdom and strength to "thrive" in those journeys as well. I encourage you to hang on, to know that He IS there, to continue to seek Him, and to trust with all your might, that He WILL bring you through!)

thrive
Pronunciation: 'thrIv
Function: intransitive verb

1 : to grow vigorously : FLOURISH
2 : to gain in wealth or possessions : PROSPER
3 : to progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances -- often used with on
- thriv·er /'thrI-v&r/ noun

The ACFW conference was quite an experience.

I grew spiritually. Worship and fellowship with other writers, editors and agents challenged me, both in writing, and other priorities of life as well.

I gained knowledge. Yep! Soaked up lots of new information about the "craft", and the process toward publication.

Taking one step further in my progress toward a first novel, helped me realize that I'd already learned a little more than I thought, and confirmed that I'm definitely on the "right track"!

Writing like any endeavor in life is a" journey". I was laughing when I came home last night and everyone kept asking if I'd "had a good trip?"... "Trip? What trip? I was just at a hotel here in Dallas for a few days", after all I hadn't really left town or anything.

This morning as the memory of the past few days washed over me, it finally hit...Trip? Did they say TRIP? I giggled to myself. Wow, yeah...what a "TRIP"!!

Watch for photos and more about my "trip" over the next week... AND THEN, on October 1st I'm back to "work"!!

Join me then, as I officially unveil the "title" and invite you to an ongoing, intimate view of what it takes to write my first book!!

Smile, it's a fresh new week-

Rebecca

HUGE Book Signing Open to the Public!!

2007-09-20T08:09:00.001-05:00

If you happen to be in the Dallas area this Saturday, there will be an ACFW booksigning, get more information here!

The Gifted Series: by Lisa Tawn Bergren

2007-09-17T12:25:00.000-05:00

Though these are the first two novels I’ve read from Lisa Tawn Bergren’s collection, I can tell you that they will absolutely NOT be the last! I'm anxiously awaiting the final installment of this series in 2008, and may even have to add a few others to the top of my endless bedside stack. I was touched by both the storytelling, and the scriptural truths that she has masterfully woven in. A best-selling, award-winning author of over 28 books, she has outdone herself with these powerful stories of adventure, faith and suspense. I found myself fortunate to have both volumes on hand, once I’d entered her rich landscape!

In “The Begotten”, Lisa introduces us to an extensive cast of characters, intimately drawing us into their medieval Italian world.

Piero, a wise priest, passionate about “the living God”, carries an ancient secret that has been passed down for 500 years.
Daria, a noble, young woman seeking recovery from a devastating relationship with her childhood sweetheart, stumbles across God’s unique calling on her life.
Gianni, a faithful knight of the church, is on the heels of retreating evil, following an elusive man known only as “the Sorcerer”.

When three lives collide, the ancient prophecy reveals itself, inextricably binding them together as one, each with a divinely appointed gift. The troupe of “gifted” continue to rise in number and strength as they identify others who are a part of the divine plan.

Overflowing with beautiful symbolism, intense action and intrigue, “The Betrayed” brings each character to the fullness of their “glory”, as the battle continues between darkness and light.

While immersed in mystery, adventure and suspense, I found myself challenged to dive deeper yet into God's strength for the path He's put me on . Realizing at once, that even the simplest daily callings God has on my life deserve the depth of worship and faith that Lisa’s “Gifted” characters exhibit. And though entertained by knights and flying swords, I was “sharpened” in my own spiritual walk. The scriptures say in Proverbs 27, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” In creating this riveting series, Lisa managed to do both!

FYI--these books are available as near as your local Target store, where you'll find both “The Begotten” and “The Betrayed” featured this month on their Breakout Books display. Order either here, by clicking on the titles in the previous sentence.

For more about Lisa Tawn Bergren you can go to www.LisaTawnBergren.com. and click here to jump on the blog tour and learn more about this fantastic new series of books!

Peaceful page-turning!

Blog, BLOG, blog, Blog, blog, blogblog

2007-09-10T17:23:00.000-05:00

It's been a busy couple of back-to-school weeks, here at the Barlow household. Suffice it to say, I have very little profound to write at the moment. Last week I wrote nothing, so maybe this meaningless blog is at least a step in the right direction!

I'm excited about some new classes that I'm teaching at the kids' school and the local homeschool co-op. Often known as a "Jackie-of-all-trades" (mistress-of-none??), I'm venturing into the world of teaching gourmet cooking to teens this year. My classes are bursting at the seams as we start off with appetizers, of course. Last week I indoctrinated them with the fresh cooking style of Jamie Oliver--after all, he's a guy, British, extremely hip, uses words like "just whack it in the oven..." and has an insatiable enthusiasm for good food and cooking--what more could you ask for to inspire young chefs?

I'm also gearing up for my first writer's conference next week! (see my countdown widget) I'm not sure what to think right now, except that with all of the angst and the chatter going on among the writer's preparing to attend, I'm thrilled to have the luxury of just being along for the ride this time. Since my first novel is still in its "embryonic stages", there's no pressure to pitch my work to editors or agents right now. I plan to do my "sponge" thing again, just soaking it all up, and way over my head in the water. But that'll be fun now that I've got this "scuba diving" thing down! Some new "writing" friends of mine will be arriving, too! Click here to find out who?

By the way, if you happen to be in Dallas on Sept. 22 at 1:30there will be a HUGE book signing event open to the public. More details on that...coming soon!!!!

Have a blessed day!

Just call me...Sponge "Bec" Lead Pants!

2007-08-27T16:49:00.000-05:00

Do you ever feel like your head is so full of new information that you are moving in slow motion on everything that normally comes easy?

Well, I am! I'm usually pretty good at multi-tasking, simplifying, streamlining, problem-solving, you-name-it...until recently. There is just SO much to learn, solve, plan and put into action with my writing, family issues, and general responsibilities that I'm feeling like a water-logged "sponge" lately. Try jogging in the pool sometime, and you'll know!

The only thing to do??? Learn to scuba dive, I guess! After all, swimming is FUN, right? Well, as long as you can still access that one little necessary element called OXYGEN--Gasp! If you're with me on this adventure then make sure you grab a tank of air, or in this case--"breath"!

I'm a huge fan of Rob Bell's NOOMA films. In one titled "Breathe", he explains that, "In the Bible, the word for 'breath' is the same as the word for 'spirit'." So I'm thinking a tank of God's Spirit, is just what I need to keep trolling along.

"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts
by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." ~Romans 5:5

"But it is the spirit in a man, the breath of the Almighty, that gives him understanding" ~Job 32:8

When things get tough believe me, I'm the first one sinking, sputtering, and flailing around. So in diving deeper lately, I'm beginning to realize that I don't need to tread water anymore, coming up gasping for breath...wide-eyed looking for help.
Nope, I just need to remember that God's spirit is the one giving me life and breath, even on those head-under-water days!

Trying to share as I learn,
Rebecca

(from Julie Taylor Gallery, South Florida Divers, Inc.)

A Unique Talent and Listening Treat!

2007-08-20T09:55:00.000-05:00

My husband recently went to a simulcast version of the Willow Creek Leadership Summit. This was one of the musicians who performed. He came home and shared it with us, I'd like to share it with you!

Click here: Erik Mongrain-Air Tap

Happy Monday!

Rebecca

Dwindling Summer Vacation Daze & Mom Tip #1

2007-08-14T17:52:00.000-05:00

Summer always seems to go by as fast as it comes. Ours isn't quite over, but we can feel the end is near.

Last season we were vagabonds, camping, visiting, and living in temporary housing near family and friends in Northern CA. I worked at my early "birthing" grounds there on a temporary nursing contract while in between homes. Just another "Barlow" adventure! We zipped back to Texas in time for school to start, but our transient status hung around until we were able to locate and move into a new home late fall.

It was a bit of a stretch even for our adventurous standards, so by the time we settled back down, a year of recouperation went into effect.

This summer relaxation is the order of the day. We've enjoyed simple things: the beauty of nature around our new home... a pack of wild kittens pieced together from our neighbors' excess...nurturing and taming them into cuddlebugs ...out-of-town guests...horseback riding...blueberry picking...setting off our first annual overhead fireworks show...watching fireflies and meteor showers under the stars. Did I mention writing?? I've squeezed it in here and there along with my studies. Oh, and pies! Pies, pies and more pies, apple pies, berry pies, peach pies and more! The kids have come to expect fresh pie at least once a week, and will eat it as fast as I make it.

We've learned to enjoy everyday adventures as much as grand ones of the past.

Rebecca's Mom tip # 1-- "Simplify Life"--

--whenever and however you can. Some seasons are busy, others we make that way because we are just so used to it. Restoring the rhythm of family life is important, and slowing down is part of it.

Even Jesus himself took time for rest and worship and friendship. Knowing how short the future was, he could have rushed madly around healing as many people as possible 24 hours a day or teaching incessantly, but that wasn't what his Father called him to. He sent him here to restore "peace" in our world. He modeled that for us intentionally in his daily life and then topped it off with a redemptive lesson in sacrificial love.

Slow down...simplify...make pie!

Either the rhythm is naturally falling into place around here or this weeks' heat wave is finally getting to them, but my kids are actually getting EXCITED for school to start up in a few weeks--go figure?

Drrrruuum Rolllll....

2007-08-04T18:00:00.000-05:00

I am pleased to announce that... "hippolyta" has just won a signed copy of "Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture" by Mary E. DeMuth!!!

Please send your address to me at: barlow(underscore)girlz(underscore)mom at yahoo dot com and I will get it in the mail immediately---CONGRATULATIONS!

I wish I could give a copy to each of you, because there is so much to enrich your parenting in this book. I hope that you will order a copy, borrow it from a friend, or do like I have: order it, read it, and then lend it to a friend!!

Book Review: "Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture" by Mary E. DeMuth

2007-07-30T16:31:00.000-05:00

“ You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.” 2 Corinthians 3:2-3

As the mother of 5 very unique individuals, I am constantly reminding myself that although parenting IS indeed a ministry that God has called me to, HE alone is the one faithfully creating and producing the results in my children’s lives!

Using Paul, the writer’s, analogy…our children are truly a letter from Christ himself, written by his Spirit on their hearts.

These thoughts reach the very ESSENCE of Mary DeMuth’s latest parenting book, “Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture”. It could easily have been called Authentic Parenting in Today’s Culture, as well. Unfortunately, not many Christians- myself included- have fully realized it yet, but our culture is in the midst of a huge paradigm shift in thought and principles. This cultural shift was titled at some point by “the powers that be”-- postmodernism.

Hold on now, and don’t let that big “educated” sounding word scare you off! Though Mary is kind enough to give a very brief explanation and overview of just what postmodern means for those of us who really might not know, her main goal is to encourage us to be AUTHENTIC Christian parents, regardless of what society may bring.

The truth is that many of us can feel the change going on around us, but just haven’t put our fingers on it yet.

In “Authentic Parenting…”, Mary is sharing a vital and beautiful message that God has given to her. It came through the experiences that she, her husband, and children encountered while living in the south of France, a country where the influences of postmodernism are already the norm.

Mary shares insight that brings us to the heart of "Christ-like" parenting. She addresses the important issues of truth, honesty, community, refuge, encouragement, grace, forgiveness, purpose and selfish abandon, as we nurture our children and lead them through the example of our own journey with Christ!

“Gulp”, some of you say…me included!!—but, NO that doesn’t mean you have to do the impossible--be perfect Christians first!

Rather, Mary encourages us to model walking with Christ for our kids in a realistic way—we seek, we stumble, we may even fall on our faces, then we get back up again, and continue on, allowing him to write with his Spirit in our own lives along the way. She also takes the time to teach us, with tangible methods, how to prepare our kids for the future by leaving them with “three foundational truths: community, the kingdom of God, and gratitude.”

Having two of our five children in the throes of their first few years of early adult life just now, my husband and I were keenly interested in what Mary had written on the subject. After reading "Authentic Parenting..." we can clearly see the importance of them being prepared for, rather than protected from, the culture they’re immersed in. We came to agree with each other, that her message is crucially in order!!

It is not too late for us as parents with young adults to benefit from this book, neither is it too early for those who are freshly initiated to the world of parenting either! In fact, I think this is a fresh message for anyone seeking to have a godly influence on today’s youth.

Don't forget to enter the drawing for an autographed copy of this book!! Click here for a link to Mary’s site--and be sure to check out the other blogs participating on the Authentic Parenting Tour this week:
Abundant Blessings
Actual Unretouched Photo
Bluebonnet in the Snow
child of divorce/child of god
Geaux2Girl
Good Word Editing
Halland
RappFamilyAixtremeLife
Spaghettipie
So Many Books...So Little Time
The Point
Tiffany Colter
Toni V. Lee
For a complete listing of the blogs participating in the six week tour, visit here.

With hope and joy in grace,

Rebecca

A Lifetime of Adventure--Part 1—Let’s Hit the Road!

2007-07-26T16:30:00.000-05:00

“Therefore my dear friends…continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. ( Phillipians 2: 12-13)

The funny thing about being a christian, is that no matter how long it’s been since my spiritual quest began, how close I've grown to God, or how much I love and trust Jesus Christ for setting me free--there is and will always be another “challenge”!

I like how this passage reminds us that our salvation continues to be “worked out with fear and trembling”. Isn’t that SO true? I turn a new corner every week in life and find something new to “work out”, don’t you?

Why FEAR and TREMBLING, I ask?? Doesn’t God promise peace and rest, love and hope?

What then does anxiety, or for crying out loud- sheer panic have to do with it?

Well, I don’t know about you, but that’s pretty much what happens to me when I step out of my natural comfort zone—my “built in” sin nature tendency towards self-preservation, control, and fulfillment of personal desires starts SCREAMING, “no, no, no, no ,No…!!”

Salvation isn’t stagnant. It begins a journey with an adventure around every corner and a treasure behind every hill.

Hence my challenge to you and myself—no matter what comes along, let’s lay ourselves down --past, present and future! Yes, with some nail-biting and knee knocking, and at times even a great lack of sleep, but with the hope and knowledge that the God of heaven, who created us, is working things out for a good purpose!!

If he would die for us, then why not trust that his plan, rather than ours, has the most good in mind? Let’s give him the freedom to help us…and in doing so, find our own!

Ummmm, yeah...once you begin, the list of things you can apply this to does get longer and longer each day! Pretty much everything goes:

Writing- sure,
Work- yep,
Marriage- of course
Parenting- don’t even get me started!
Friendships- check,
Family Matters-check
Health- check, check…

and the list goes on and on and on and on!!!!!

The exciting thing is, that in every area we’re laying ourselves down, there will be an end result better than anything we, silly selfish people, could ever have coordinated or planned. I know, I know, some of us are pretty good planners and co-ordinators, if we do say so ourselves—even so, would any of us DARE to compare with perfection????

Well, it's time to hit the road in one way or another—send our “selves” packing, drop to our knees before God, get moving in the right direction, whatever sacrifice of pride that it takes, cause…hey, the adventure’s just barely begun!!

Today, I'm working on laying myself down when it comes to teenager's, who insist on believing that
the "dish fairy" is going appear and miraculously move their discards from the sink to the washer. LOL =)
(Mind you I'm not endorsing a lack of parental guidance, rather the "attitude" that happens to come with mine!)

What’s on your list this week???

In Peace-

Rebecca

Free Book Drawing

2007-07-22T09:35:00.000-05:00

YES it's true! I am holding a drawing for a signed copy of Mary DeMuth's new book, which I'll be posting a review on towards the end of this month. Mary's book is the first I've read offering truly fresh insight on christian parenting in a changing world!

Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture

by Mary E. DeMuth

Harvest House, July 1, 2007

If you're interested just say "book drawing" in any comment you leave between now and August 4th. I will announce the winner at 6pm CST that day--so watch out for it!
If you'd rather not wait for the drawing, order a copy today...just click here.

Introducing My Newborn Blog-with a Splash!

2007-07-21T10:15:00.000-05:00

"And we, who with unveiled faces all REFLECT the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." (2 Corinthians 3:18)

Welcome to my writer's blog!

While mainly you'll read about my writing exploits here, my hope is that whether you're a writer, a reader, a parent or a friend...you will laugh, relax, be encouraged and refreshed.

I also invite you to join me on an intense adventure I've recently begun. The mission is: seeking to lay down...who you were...who you are...and who you hoped to be...so that you may truly reflect God's grace and his unique design for your life on a daily basis.

Please drop in on the comments and share YOUR latest adventures!

Blessings--Rebecca