By Tricia Goyer
I was thrilled when I heard the guidelines for this Blog Tour from Trish.
“…we’d like you to take one chapter of the book and share how that chapter, or the principles in the chapter, have helped you in your marriage.”
Cool, I thought. T and I have been studying some new parenting books lately, but it’s been awhile since we’ve looked at one on marriage. I’m a definite Gen X-er, and he is on the cusp, so it should relate to us. What a great way for us to draw closer while I prepare for the blog!
...Well, since that original thought: I began a new full-time job, one of our older daughters moved home, T took over my gourmet cooking class this semester, we're homeschooling both twins, and he's trying to get a new business started!
At a time when we probably need it the most, there just hasn’t been time in our schedule for basic communication let alone something that will draw us “closer” as a couple. The more I thought about it and poured through Trish’s book, I laughed and thought YEAH, well that’s what she’s talking about here isn’t it?!!
SO which chapter really hit home for me???
Chapter 8: “Sweet Child o’ Mine
Why? Because if there’s one thing my husband and I ALWAYS agree on it’s loving, nurturing and raising our kids to be healthy, happy, productive, faith-filled young people.
Well then why aren’t you blogging on “Generation Next Parenting” instead you say? It’s simple. Marriage and Parenting aren’t separate issues as our friend Tricia points out here!
“Children Redefine ‘Marriage Partnership’” she opens the chapter with. In discussing marriage as a purposeful relationship, she quotes Gary Chapman in the Four Seasons of Marriage “All research indicates that an intimate marriage provides the safest and most productive climate for raising children.”
Though I DO see our parenting partnership lately as one of the biggest strengths in our marriage, one of the closing points Trish makes went to my core.
“Additionally the way John and I interact serves as our children’s model for marriage. In fact, the type of marriage I have with John is most likely the kind my kids will have too. That’s huge.”
UM yeaah, that’s HUGE!
It reminded me once more that even in the midst of understandable hard times; when it’s difficult to find the time and way to connect, our marriage STILL has to take precedence. During these times, we are modeling for our kids how to handle their own future marriages under similar circumstances.
As a parent it’s pretty easy to analyze and even critique our own children’s behavior, after all that’s part of our job! Well picturing my child as a future marriage partner, handling particular situations the way we typically do, was inspiration. Not only to try to do better, but my need to aim daily for the BEST relationship possible, no matter what the situation may be.
Now this doesn’t mean we’ll ever become the “perfect” husband/wife, during our lifetime. Rather that in each and EVERY season, we must dedicate precious time and energy toward a future of continuous improvement.
One of my favorite things in this chapter is that Trish shares her TOP 12 list of the best things a married couple can do together for their kids.
I focused in on just a few to share:
“5. Have daily ‘couch time’ where your kids see the two of you talking about your day. It will give them security to see their parents communicate. They will know all is well in their world.
7. Be loyal to one another and stand by each other, even when you don’t think the other person has handled the situation correctly. It’s better to work it out afterward, in private.
8. Let loose once in awhile. Life doesn’t always have to be serious.
9. Pray together as a family. AND...
11. Let the kids see you handle disagreements and resolutions respectfully."
To learn more about other bloggers’ favorite chapters in this book follow the tour here!
Trish Goyer is the award winning author of nine books, has written more than 250 published articles, and is a sought after speaker and presenter for women’s groups. She makes her home in northwest Montana with her husband and three children.
Click here for an opportunity to win a “dinner for 2” courtesy of Trish herself!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
By Tricia Goyer